6 Signs You're in the Friend-Zone and 6 Ways to Get Out of It

Raise your hand if you have ever been friend-zoned.

Being in the friend-zone typically has a negative connotation attached to it, almost like it's a bad thing to be categorized in the "no" pile. Let's get something straight. Having someone only want to be your friend rather than pursuing romantic relations is nothing to be ashamed of or to get worked up about. It's something we have to learn to embrace. Not everyone is able to love you the way that you want them to. That's what the friend-zone was designed for. It's a way to let you know that your existence does matter, just not, you know, like that.

I know what the friend-zone feels like. I've camped there a few times myself. There is nothing more painful than caring for someone that doesn't seem to reciprocate what you feel. It's a dagger that just keeps twisting and twisting.

I know it hurts, but it's not going to kill you.

I'm not an all-knowing being, but I do know a thing or two about being placed into this particular zone as well as what's it's like to put someone there myself. I've assembled 6 signs that you've found yourself in a place that we know you don't want to be.

1. They give you a platonic term of endearment.

If you compliment them in a sweet and subtle way, but their response is, "Thanks, man." Then you have found yourself pitching a tent in their friend-zone. Nicknames are very easy to pick up on and if they start to refer to you as a sibling, then the chance of a romantic relationship is highly unlikely.

Other words to watch out for are: dude, buddy, pal, homie, bruh, or BFFL. 

2. You're saved into their contacts as "Best Friend *insert girl and guy holding hands emoji here*"

Every time you text them, they are constantly reminded that you are their best friend. If the kissy face emoji is beside "Best Friend," then you have nothing to worry about. As a matter of fact, that's the ultimate relationship. Who wouldn't want to date their best friend? But unless Ursher, Jon, and Luda wrote the soundtrack to your relationship, I don't think you two are "Lovers & Friends."

3. They mention that you should date so and so.

No one, and I mean no one, is going to play matchmaker for someone they care about. If they have feelings towards you even in the slightest, then the idea of you being with someone else would infuriate them. 

4. You have been trying to date them for months.

This one is a case by case basis. There will be exceptions to every rule, just like in He's Just Not That Into You, but most of the time if the feelings are mutual, it won't take you 8 months to know it. If it's been months and they haven't even remotely given you hope for a Facebook relationship change, then they're just not that into you.

5. They talk to you about their relationships.

Do I really need to elaborate on this? If they are talking to you about their date-gone-bad at Bdubs, then you are definitely categorized into a place that you do not want to be. They are comfortable with you and feel that it is okay to share their problems, sometimes not even knowing that you wish you were the date-gone-bad. They'll constantly seek your advice, use your shoulder to lean on because they know that you are there for them. 

6. You're never alone together.

Someone that has romantic feelings will be dying, not literally, to have one-on-one time with you. When you ask to hang out, they won't want to bring their dog, two cousins, neighbor, or the UPS Guy that delivers all the shit you buy online. Occasionally group outings can be fun, but if you don't have alone time together that feels like a true and honest date, then you are just a good friend.

But, let's face it, no one actually wants to be in the friend-zone.

If you find yourself groveling over their attention, begging for a sign from God, or struggling to understand why they didn't catch on to the good morning texts that you've sent them for the past 2 years, then let me give you a glimmer of hope. It is possible to escape the friend-zone.

If Clint Eastwood can make it out of Alcatraz, then I am certain that you can claw your way out of this place.

1. Ignore them.

Ignoring someone that you have put a lot of time and energy into giving attention to is like unplugging the television during the final seconds of the Super Bowl. You are going to get a reaction. They are going to wonder what changed, what happened, what they did. This separation gives them a chance to really contemplate how important you are to their life and how much they need you in it. They're not going to forget you if you ignore them for a few days, so don't even worry about that, but occasionally when someone realizes what they stand to lose, they discover feelings they didn't know they had.

2. Reinvent yourself.

I'm a firm believer that change is a good thing. Whether it be a hair cut, new clothes, a new go-with-the-flow attitude, or dropping a few of those extra-Christmas pounds we all love to gain, reinventing yourself can be a way for not only them to see you in a new light, but for you to see yourself in a new light. It feels good to be able to stare at your reflection in the mirror and like what you see. Just remember to change for yourself and not for the sake of someone else.

3. Admit your feelings.

I cannot stress this enough and I have been guilty of it myself, but you will never climb out of the friend-zone until you tell them how you feel. They deserve to know that you are interested in being more than just the person they run to when their life is in shams, that you want something more meaningful. Lay everything out like a picnic, set the table, and then walk away. Yes, I said it... Walk away. This goes back to point #1. Let them know that you care and then give them a few days to think on it. If they don't chase after you, then you have truly done all that you can to let them know exactly where you stand. At this point, you would need to decide if you are able to be strictly friends and nothing more. 

4. Flirt with them. 

You can do this before you admit your feelings, after you admit your feelings, or while you are admitting your feelings. It's your own preference, really. You have to physically show a romantic interest or else they may never catch onto the "how was your day?" texts that you send every evening. Smile at them, compliment the special feature that you know they hold in high regard. But if they say, "thanks, man." Then hit CTL, ALT, DEL and find someone else.

5. Lose the desperation.

Please stop complimenting them in every other breath. At this point, you wouldn't even have to admit your feelings, because believe me, they already know. Your actions need to speak for themselves. Feeding them with too much affection can be exhausting and give off a negative vibe. Calm down and stop sweating over it. Your desperation will set off so many red flags they'll think they're at a NASCAR race. 

6. Let them go.

As hard as it may be, sometimes you have to realize that you are wasting too much energy on the idea of someone. You can't control your feelings no more than you can control theirs, so it may be best to just end it. This is not the same as ignoring them. This is where you let go of the idea that they might one day change their mind because they're not going to. You need to make room in your life for someone else to come along and fill that void. Cut your losses and try to salvage your friendship, because in this day and age true and loyal friendship is hard to come across.

..........

Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight

Each day that I read about violence and racism in this country is another day that I start to lose faith in it. The United States was created by people of many different languages and skin complexions... people that were innovative, saw a brighter future, and shaped a nation out of dust. We have come a long way from the days of our foundation and progressed to new highs, but every time we let our differences in skin color hinder our evolution, we take steps back.

I read an article by National Geographic once that described what the average American would like in the future after generations of blending. (View Article Here) There is a small side panel compiled of portraits of people of all hair colors, eyes colors, skin color. It's a beautiful view of what our exterior could look like in the years to come, but what about what's inside of us? What about our view of each other? Will our interior be as beautiful?

Racism scars our nation and continues to inflict wounds that won't heal. You can see it as plain as the sun in the sky and some of us try with all of our might to be oblivious to it. History has proven that it existed and we as a society prove every single day that it still does. We categorize each other by skin as if skin is what defines who we are. Skin doesn't save children from a scorching fire, hands do. Skin doesn't cry when a loved one is lost, eyes do. The only thing skin does is cover our flesh. It let's out what we keep in. At what point to do we stop letting the color of our skin play a stronger role than it was designed to?

The only direction we should move in life is forward. We have to walk together, hand in hand, black and white, and stop letting the racist bigotry of our past control who we will be in the future. Equality is what we are all fighting for, praying for, hoping for. We can reach it, but not until we stop separating ourselves from one another. This is a new world, a new generation of American's. We have the power to keep pushing our homeland further into a place our own children can be proud to live in. A place where children of all colors can play together, laugh together, and love one another. 

If your child needed a pint of blood to live, would you be able to pick the white one? I didn't think so. 

Movies That...

Imagine that you're sitting on your couch on a Saturday night. It's the kind of night where you are holding a bowl of popcorn, blanket tucked around your legs, with a glass filled to the brim with your favorite drink. What are you about to do? Are you going play Sudoku? 

No, you're probably not. Unless you are into that sort of thing? I mean, I've played Sudoku a few times. It's actually not that bad. 

The image that I'm trying to paint is that you're about to take a nose dive into a movie that will get your brain flowing and your heart pounding to the point where it's all you think about for the next 24 hours.

I have seen my fair share of films. I even took a film class once. World Cinema. There are very few subjects in this ol' world that I can confidently tell you that I'm skilled in, but knowing about things of the cinematic variety is definitely one of them.

What I'm going to do for you lovely people is assemble a few of my favorites into their respective categories and encourage each of you to give them a try. If you have already seen some of these, watch them again. These movies, I promise, will never get old. 

..........

Movies That Were Beyond Your Time, And Mine:

On The Waterfront Trailer

Like any movie junkie, I have a list of my favorites. It's a concrete list, one that I rarely change. I'm very critical when it comes to movies and which ones that I consider my favorites. On the Waterfront (1954) is rightfully number 4. Trust me when I tell you that my top three favorites are very, very good, because this movie is to die for. Marlon Brando was the king of the fifties (Sorry, James Dean.) and if you enjoy a good classic, then you'll definitely not be able to pass up this one.

Synopsis: "I coulda been a contenda. I coulda been somebody." 

An ex-boxer is challenged to step-up to the mobster's controlling Hoboken's waterfront. This movie shows that personal redemption is possible.

Ladies, you'll love this one too. Eva Marie Saint plays the good girl to Marlon Brando's bad boy. Wink wink wink.

Honorable mentions: Dead End (Humphrey Bogart, 1937), The Adventures of Robin Hood (Errol Flynn, 1938)

..........

Movies That You Probably Won't Understand:

As you know, I have a knack for the exotic. That includes foreign films. If you don't get a headache reading subtitles, then I strongly advise you to step outside of Hollywood and see what the rest of the world can do. The United States is the holy grail of the film industry, but other countries are quickly gaining momentum. 

The Man From Nowhere Trailer

Let's head over to Asia with my absolute favorite foreign film. This is a movie that I forced my mother to watch because I had sat one weekend and watched it over and over again until I had to get someone else to watch it simply so I could talk about it. It had me on the edge of my seat, biting my nails, crying, sighing from relief, and then wondering why I put myself through such an emotional roller coaster.

Synopsis: The Man From Nowhere (South Korea, 2010) is an action packed film about a man who risks his life to save his kidnapped neighbor. 

When I watch a movie, I tend to dissect it and nitpick things that I would have done differently. It's just a habit I have that really gets my creative mind flowing. There isn't a single piece of this movie that I would have done differently. My mother, who barely stays awake long enough to watch a movie in English, sat through all of this one and loved it. Subtitles and all.

Honorable Mentions: A Prophet (France, 2009) A Better Tomorrow (South Korea, 2010) - Rough Cut (South Korea, 2008) - Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India (India, 2001) 

..........

Movies That Will Make You Fall in Love: 

Let's bring it home one times for the ladies, shall we? I mean, some of you gents might even like a little love on the big screen. I'm not going to genderize the romance category. 

The Pick-Up Artist Trailer

When I think of love, I think of Molly Ringwald. She was the poster child of teenage love in the 80s. I mean, come on... She got to make out with Judd Nelson in a janitor's closet. I would cut off my left leg to make out with Judd Nelson in a janitor's closet. You know who else Molly Ringwald got to make out with in the 80s? Robert Downey Jr. 

A young Robert Downey Jr at that. This was long before he grew a goatee and flew around in an iron suit. This is raw RDJ in his early years. 

Synopsis: The Pick-Up Artist (1986) A womanizer (lawlz) meets his match with a woman that doesn't fall under the spell of his smooth one-liners. 

"Has anyone ever told you that you have the face of a Botticelli and the body of a Degas?"

Honorable Mentions: Excess Baggage, (1997) Leap Year (2009), Breathless, (France, 1960), 

..........

Movies that Will Make You Cry:

Shindler's List Trailer

I'm a cryer. I'm not ashamed to admit that. The very minute the final scene from The Green Mile (1999) starts playing, I am already in a fit of tears. It hits me so hard in the feels I literally cannot stand myself. Or how about Armageddon (1998) with Bruce Willis? I cry ugly tears, UGLY TEARS. Kim Kardashian tears. 

Schindler's List (1993) - The film is based on the true story of Oskar Schindler, a German businessman, who owned a factory during Nazi Germany. His factory was run by Polish Jews during the Holocaust. As you can probably imagine, this movie is powerful.

I remember watching this one my senior year of high school in my English class. I cried sitting on the floor, not even bothering to hide my tears. Half of my classmates cried too. The rest were just speechless.  Years after watching this movie, I was able to visit a German concentration camp while vacationing in Germany. The tears came back with a vengeance.

..........

Movies that Will Make You Laugh:

Smokey and the Bandit Trailer

There is only one movie that I know for a fact has the ability to make a 14 year old, a 21 year old, a 44 year old, a 45 year old, a 76 year old, AND an 84 year old laugh until there are tears in the corner of their eyes. Yes, I did just list the ages of everyone in my family. From my teenage brother to my elderly grandfather, there is one movie that we can all watch and laugh until we cry. 

This movie is a staple for my family. We quote it every time the opportunity knocks. And trust me... it knocks... a lot. 

Synopsis: Smokey and the Bandit (1977) A maverick racecar driver is challenged to bring a semi-truck filled with beer from Texas to Georgia in 28 hours. He picks up a runaway bride along the way and ultimately gets chased by the bride's groom and father-in-law.

My brother and I know this movie from front to back. It was a product of our raising and I strongly suggest that you add this to your to-do list.

..........

Movies That Star Tom Hardy:

Let's be honest. He's nice to look at. This had to be a category. Tom Hardy is one of those actors that you just can't help but like. He's versatile, subtle, and has the lips of a Roman god. Heyyyy. (insert woman emoji with her hand out here) In all honesty, I've never seen a Tom Hardy film that I didn't like. He starred in the autobiographical film Bronson, (2008) about inmate Charles Bronson, he starred alongside Chris Pine in the rom-com This Means War (2012) and then there was Warrior (2011). 

Lawless Trailer

He's a great actor, one that starred in my second favorite movie of all time. If you are paying attention, I've already listened my 4th favorite movie. Here is my number two.

I could listen to Tom Hardy grunt and groan as Forrest Bondurant for the rest of my life and never once complain. He makes a cardigan look manly. Can I get an amen? While watching this movie in theaters, I literally stood up from my seat and shouted at the screen. I'm not lying. I nearly walked out of the theater. Never in my life has a movie made me that nervous, that overwhelmed. 

Synopsis: Three bootlegging brothers from Virginia are challenged by a new special deputy as they try to run moonshine during the Great Depression.

If you have already seen this movie, know that I am telepathically sending you a high five. If you haven't, then I suggest you take a second to get your life together. 

..........

Movies That You Won't Watch Because They're Too Controversial:

Che Trailer

Some of you may not even know who Che Guevara was, but I'm sure you've seen his face posted up on the t-shirts of several young, wannabe revolutionaries. He was an Argentine Marxist that befriended Fidel Castro and was a major figure in the Cuban Revolution. If you have a love for biopics, Cuba, Bolivia, and Benicio del Toro, then I suggest giving this film a try. 

The film is split into two parts: the Cuban Revolution and his attempt at bringing a revolution to Bolivia. It's in Spanish, so once again, if you aren't a fan of subtitles... this one might not be for you. 

I have only seen it one time, but I would watch it again. Benicio del Toro is a phenomenal actor and seeing a different view of such a controversial figure was intriguing. 

Honorable Mentions: The Passion of the Christ, (2004)

..........

Movies Movies That You Usually Avoid But Shouldn't:

To Hell And Back Trailer

My grandfather has a host of war movies on DVD that he never watches, mostly because he doesn't know how to work his DVD player, but his background in the military has helped me appreciate films that portray our darker hours as a nation. Movies like Saving Private Ryan (1998) have made war films bearable to those who tend to steer clear of anything with a tank or trenches. 

Not many of you are going to know Audie Murphy, but he was a war hero, turned actor in the 50s that starred in his own autobiography about his experiences in World War II. Audie Murphy was the most decorated American combat soldier of WWII with the Medal of Honor as well as every single military combat award available from the US Army. He was a hero as well as an icon in Hollywood.

His film To Hell and Back (1955) is the story of his experiences during WWII and one that I strongly recommend for any of you that enjoy the classics. 

Honorable Mentions: Zero Dark Thirty (2012),  Three Kings (1999), The Hurt Locker (2008)

..........

Movies That Will Make You Want to Blow Something Up:

Snitch Trailer

The next movie that I'm going to babble about completely slipped under my radar. This film came out during a time where I wasn't really watching much TV or paying attention to what was playing at the cinema. I hadn't even heard of it until my mother and I were standing at a Redbox kiosk sometime last summer. She is an avid fan of Dwayne Johnson... I usually prefer his wrestling days rather than his acting career, but that's another story.

We rented Snitch (2013) one weekend for a family movie night and I was on the edge of my seat. It genuinely surprised me at how unpredictable I found it to be. Normally, when I'm watching a movie I can already guess how it's going to end halfway through the film.  I was wrong on this one and it was a pleasant surprise.

Synopsis: A man's estranged son is arrested on narcotics charges. In order to reduce his son's prison sentence, he becomes an informant.

Honorable Mentions: All Star Wars Movies in the History of Ever

............

Movies That Won't End the Way You Think They Will:

Buried Trailer

As I mentioned in the last category, there are very few movies that I cannot predict. Films with twist endings are the bane of my existence, yet I watch them because I'm a glutton for punishment. The moment in a film where you can physically heart your heart pounding is a complete adrenaline rush, like you've been running a mile when you've never even left your couch. It's like a workout for the lazy. There are several movies out there with endings that you're not expecting, one in particular that nearly gave me a heart attack.

Warning: If you are claustrophobic, don't even bother with this movie. The setting alone will make your head spin.

Buried (2010) starring Ryan Reynold's was a movie that I watched while I lived in Spain. Yes, I still had movie nights in Spain. I was there for months, long past the tourist stage. There was bound to be times when I sipped wine in my apartment and did nothing but watch movies. 

Synopsis: A driver stationed in Afghanistan is kidnapped by a terrorist group, given a cellphone among other necessities, and buried alive inside a wooden coffin. The film is shot entirely in the coffin, so if you fear that sort of thing, don't even bother watching this. 

Honorable Mentions: The Devil's Advocate (1997), The Usual Suspects (1995)

..........

Movies That You Shouldn't Watch in the Dark:

The Orphanage Trailer

Speaking of watching movies in Spain, in my media class, my professor had us watch a Spanish film entitled El Orfanato, or The Orphanage (2007). There is talks of an English version of the film, but as of right now, there is the Spanish version. I know, I'm sorry... More subtitles. But I promise that it is worth seeing. 

When I watched it in class, I nearly jumped out of my own skin on several occasions. I was so embarrassed at first, but after seeing how absorbed the rest of the class was in the film, my twitching like I was experiencing an exorcism didn't really matter.

Synopsis: A woman returns to the orphanage that she once stayed in as a child. Her, along with her husband and own adopted son, begin the process of reopening the facility. Her son, who has a habit of talking with his imaginary friends, goes missing and she vows to do anything and everything to find him.

Honorable Mentions: The Strangers (2008), The Omen (1976 or 2006)

..........

Movies That Have a Cult Following:

I'm sure by now some of you are wondering what my other two favorite movies are. I've named number two and number four so far, if you're still paying attention. This next film ranks in at number three. Rightfully, this film should be numero uno, but after a long, schizophrenic conversation with myself... I let it slide in at number 3.

This is a movie that my parents will no longer watch with me because I mumble every single line as we're watching. I've known it word for word as long as I can remember. It was the first movie I ever remember watching and one that I will love for the rest of my life.

The Crow Trailer

Brandon Lee, son of the infamous Bruce Lee, was my Man Candy Monday long before I ever knew what MCM was. His character as Eric Draven in the 1994 cult classic, The Crow, inspired my love of leather jackets, rock music, and dark eyeliner. I have the score, not the soundtrack, the Graeme Revell score on my iTunes playlist. The whole thing. I've been obsessed with it, literally, since I was probably 4-5 years old. 

Ask my mother the three things I loved most as a child: Barney, Martin Lawrence, and this movie.

Honorable Mentions: From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) - I strongly suggest this Quentin Tarantino film as well for those of you who are into the weird cult classics. This one stars a young George Clooney. Heyyyyyy, ladies. Wink wink.

..........

Movies That Will Make You Wish You Were A Little Bit Taller, Wish You Were a Baller:

Hardball Trailer

We all love Denzel Washington in Remember the Titans (2000), or Sean Astin in Rudy (1993), but this next film is one of the greatest sports movies of all time. From the pitcher that sings Big Poppa by the Notorious B.I.G. to Keanu Reeves' gambling addiction, this film will make you fall in love with a little league baseball team from the wrong side of the tracks.

Hardball (2001) will surprise you. I can bet you that. Pun intended. The story is one that will captivate you and I can guarantee that you will be happy you watched it, if you haven't already. If I were going to write a screenplay for a baseball movie, this is definitely the one I would write.

Synopsis: A man in severe gambling debt is forced to become the new baseball coach for group of rag tag kids from the projects. 

Honorable Mentions: We Are Marshall (2006)

For those of you that don't understand the category title, click this. 

..........

Movies That You Should Encourage Your Children to Watch:

All Dogs Go to Heaven Trailer

I've seen some of the animated films that have been released for this 00s kids and they aren't quite like the gems that I grew up with in the 90s. I understand that this generation has their own style of pop culture to grow up with, but it doesn't hurt to let them indulge in the throwbacks. My brother and I watched my mother's throwbacks, and look how hip we ended up being. 

A film that I liked to eat Cheetos and watch on Saturday's was All Dogs Go To Heaven (1989). Most of you are probably smiling right now because you forgot about this precious gem. I'm sure when I type out "Let's make music together, let's make sweet harmony..." then you probably read it in the same singing voice as the Drag Queen alligator that made it famous. We grew up with fun movies like this one. Let your kids watch it.

And if you never watched it yourself, then go grab a bag of Cheetos and don't waste anymore time.

Honorable Mentions: Oliver & Company (1988), and every single Land Before Time film ever.

..........

And my favorite movie of all time:

Some of you will have trouble believing that this is my favorite movie, others won't really be that surprised. Even I sometimes wonder why, out of all the movies I've seen in my nearly 22 years, this one is the one I love most above all else. 

Animal House Trailer

National Lampoon's Animal House (1978) is the staple college movie that every freshman should see. It was the only movie I took with me to Louisville during my freshman year. I have two copies because mom and I both accidentally bought it for me one year for Christmas. (That's another story.) John Belushi is a comedic genius that died way, way too early and if you look real close in the film, you'll see Kevin Bacon. 

You know all those Toga parties everyone knows and loves? You can thank Animal House for that.

Honorable Mention: (The Lost Boys, 1987) This one previously held the top spot for several years, long before I had ever seen Animal House. It's another movie that I know like the back of my hand.

These are movies that inspire me, movies that make me laugh, make me cry. There is nothing that I enjoy more than finding a movie that really gets me overwhelmed, emotional, and ready to watch it again. The power in cinema, back to its very foundation, has never wavered. It gives us a chance to escape reality, if only for a moment, and see an alternate universe where things happen the way we want them to. I hope you've found a new film to add to your watch list.

Cheers, friends... and happy viewing.

Beneath each movie poster is a link to their official trailer on YouTube.