Select any woman at random, ask her if there is something about her body that she would want to change, and I can guarantee that her answer will undoubtedly be yes. Self-satisfaction is the hardest attribute to achieve because it means being able to look at yourself in the mirror and not immediately letting your eyes sink to your flaws. I could stand for hours looking at my features and list all of the things that I used to hate about myself, because I was my harshest critic and my own worst enemy.
I would poke at my sides, turn and twist at my reflection, suck in, squint my eyes, stand on my tippy toes to be taller, straighten my wavy hair to make it longer. At one point in my life, I even wanted brown contacts so that I wouldn't have to have blue eyes. My hair was never the right color, my body was never covered enough, every "selfie" had to be from the neck up, and in every group photo, I would hide behind everyone else.
"There isn't a name that you could call me that I haven't already called myself."
My weight fluctuates more than Oprah's and I've come to terms that I will never be Irina Shayk. I like Taco Bell, I like whole milk, and I like trying to eat a whole pizza with my best friend on our date nights. What is a cheeseburger if it isn't greasy and why worry about how many Cheetos you ate out of a jumbo bag? It's too strenuous on the human brain to try and count how many calories is in a homemade Reese's bar and I refuse to be a number.
A few years ago, I decided that I was going to love myself. If I can't love me, then how can I expect anyone else to? What I had to realize was that there is no key to happiness. There is no certain path to take or road to travel down. All of those quotes you see online are complete and utter bullshit. You can't find confidence on a map and you can't buy self-love on eBay. The only place you should be looking is in your own eyes. Happiness is already with you. You don't have to go out and find it. It's already there. You just have to believe in it.
Stop looking in the mirror and pointing out all the things you hate about yourself. There has been a point in your lifetime where someone else has seen that same flaw that you dissect and found it to be beautiful. If you could take 5 minutes and see how other people see you, then you probably wouldn't be so hard on yourself.
I have been asked several times about my weight loss, how I did it, typical questions from curious people that want the same thing I wanted... a new image, a new face to see in the mirror. I have dodged that question so many times that I have lost count. It's not that I can't give an honest answer or that I'm ashamed, it's just that I am still trying to reinvent myself. I'm not done yet. I still see the same girl that I used to be. I struggle to find my size in a clothing store. I still take pictures of myself from the neck up. I am still trying to be comfortable in my own skin, so to have people asking how I got skinny is still weird to me. I'm not skinny. Have you seen my thighs?
What I can give you is a few tips that helped me. Some of them are basic pieces of advice that Google could give you much better than I could.
Deep breath.
1. I use my hair as my best feature. It's my favorite thing about myself. If you can find something on your body that you love and you focus on it, then you are able to see past the rest.
2. I drink water... a lot of water. Then, I put those little flavored packets into bottled water so that I'll drink even more water. I'll probably be scrutinized for this one, but I don't drink Ski. I rarely drink soda at all. I've always preferred juice or milk anyway, so it really wasn't that hard for me to cut soft drinks out of my diet.
3. I pay attention to what I eat. I still eat everything I've always loved, just less of it. Going to Europe really helped to break the American habit of fast-food. (Taco Bell doesn't count. That's gourmet.) I try to stick to less than 2,000 calories a day, which is a lot easier than you would think.
4. I do something physical... and by something, I mean getting my muscles aching and heart racing. I walk, jog, hike. I even got into doing yoga. Granted, I'm terrible at it... but it's relaxing and feels so good. I'm lazy by nature, but there is something addictive to the feeling you get after a nice walk outside. It's refreshing and invigorating. Don't be ashamed to walk down the road. People will pass you by and more than likely think that they should be walking too.
4. I stopped paying attention to a scale. Very rarely do I weigh in. Once you convince yourself that you are a human being and not a number, you'll start to notice how much easier it is to love who you are. I am not defined by a numerical value. I don't know how much I weigh and I don't want to. If I can look in the mirror and notice that my waist is not as large as it used to be, then why do I need a scale to confirm what my eyes have already told me?
What I can give you is a few tips that helped me. Some of them are basic pieces of advice that Google could give you much better than I could.
Deep breath.
1. I use my hair as my best feature. It's my favorite thing about myself. If you can find something on your body that you love and you focus on it, then you are able to see past the rest.
2. I drink water... a lot of water. Then, I put those little flavored packets into bottled water so that I'll drink even more water. I'll probably be scrutinized for this one, but I don't drink Ski. I rarely drink soda at all. I've always preferred juice or milk anyway, so it really wasn't that hard for me to cut soft drinks out of my diet.
3. I pay attention to what I eat. I still eat everything I've always loved, just less of it. Going to Europe really helped to break the American habit of fast-food. (Taco Bell doesn't count. That's gourmet.) I try to stick to less than 2,000 calories a day, which is a lot easier than you would think.
4. I do something physical... and by something, I mean getting my muscles aching and heart racing. I walk, jog, hike. I even got into doing yoga. Granted, I'm terrible at it... but it's relaxing and feels so good. I'm lazy by nature, but there is something addictive to the feeling you get after a nice walk outside. It's refreshing and invigorating. Don't be ashamed to walk down the road. People will pass you by and more than likely think that they should be walking too.
4. I stopped paying attention to a scale. Very rarely do I weigh in. Once you convince yourself that you are a human being and not a number, you'll start to notice how much easier it is to love who you are. I am not defined by a numerical value. I don't know how much I weigh and I don't want to. If I can look in the mirror and notice that my waist is not as large as it used to be, then why do I need a scale to confirm what my eyes have already told me?
5. I tried diet pills. Before you discredit everything I just said, know that my life is not baseball and diet pills are not steroids. There is nothing wrong with trying different methods to better yourself. What is the difference in putting a cheeseburger into my mouth and taking a pill?
My sister sells these appetite control and energy pills that I would take daily for a few weeks. I noticed that they genuinely did help me. I am known for being the worst person on earth for taking medication, but I stuck to those because my sister kept telling me that they would work. She was right. Those little pills gave me the energy that I needed to walk miles, the appetite control that I had lacked, and they truly did help me become a new person.
6. Buy new clothes. I changed the way I dressed, found clothing that accentuated by features and others that hid the imperfections. When you feel beautiful in an outfit, your confidence steps in and it shows. Back in my heavier days (I still LOL when I type that, by the way) I would wear some sort of spandex tank underneath my clothing. It helps give a more flattering shape for those looking to appear thinner during your transition, that would be a starter. Once you lose weight, you won't need them anymore and they become nice memorabilia.
7. I keep my "fat pants." When someone loses weight, their mind adjusts to the new person they have become. They start to find new flaws, think they aren't quite skinny enough. I have a pair of pants that I literally laugh at because I know in the past, I used to fit in those. It's a reminder of how far I came and how much further I can go.
My sister sells these appetite control and energy pills that I would take daily for a few weeks. I noticed that they genuinely did help me. I am known for being the worst person on earth for taking medication, but I stuck to those because my sister kept telling me that they would work. She was right. Those little pills gave me the energy that I needed to walk miles, the appetite control that I had lacked, and they truly did help me become a new person.
6. Buy new clothes. I changed the way I dressed, found clothing that accentuated by features and others that hid the imperfections. When you feel beautiful in an outfit, your confidence steps in and it shows. Back in my heavier days (I still LOL when I type that, by the way) I would wear some sort of spandex tank underneath my clothing. It helps give a more flattering shape for those looking to appear thinner during your transition, that would be a starter. Once you lose weight, you won't need them anymore and they become nice memorabilia.
7. I keep my "fat pants." When someone loses weight, their mind adjusts to the new person they have become. They start to find new flaws, think they aren't quite skinny enough. I have a pair of pants that I literally laugh at because I know in the past, I used to fit in those. It's a reminder of how far I came and how much further I can go.
Reinventing yourself is not impossible. If you want to change something about yourself, then change it. It is your life, your body, and only you can tell yourself if you are beautiful or not. You should define who you are and not let Vogue magazine try to do it for you. Make your goals reasonable, keep your expectations realistic, and know that weight is only a number. If someone tells you they have a miracle method that helps people lose weight, give it a try. What do you have to lose? Don't be ashamed to take as many routes as you can to get to your goal. There is no single, defined pathway. If you want to take a diet pill, take one. If you can't run because your lungs are as bad as mine, then walk... briskly.
"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you have always gotten."
What are your self-reinvention success stories and tips? Comment below and share your feedback.
xoxo.
